God grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

~Reinhold Niebuhr

Frequently Asked Questions

  1. When should you seek counseling?
  2. What is professional counseling?
  3. Who are professional counselors?
  4. How do I find a counselor?
  5. What is grief?
  1. When should you seek counseling?

From childhood through late adulthood, there are certain times when we may need help addressing problems and issues that cause us emotional distress or make us feel overwhelmed. When you are experiencing these types of difficulties, you may benefit from the assistance of an experienced, trained professional. Professional counselors offer the caring, expert assistance that we often need during these stressful times.

A counselor can help you identify your problems and assist you in finding the best ways to cope with the situation by changing behaviors that contribute to the problem or by finding constructive ways to deal with a situation that is beyond your personal control. Professional counselors offer help in addressing many situations that cause emotional stress, including, but not limited to:

  • anxiety, depression, and other mental and emotional problems and disorders
  • family and relationship issues
  • substance abuse and other addictions
  • sexual abuse and domestic violence
  • eating disorders
  • career change and job stress
  • social and emotional difficulties related to disability and illness
  • adopting to life transitions
  • the death of a loved one

“Good indicators of when you should seek counseling are when you’re having difficulties at work, your ability to concentrate is diminished or when your level of pain becomes uncomfortable,” says Dr. Gail Robinson, past president of the American Counseling Association. “However, you don’t want to wait until the pain becomes unbearable or you’re at the end of your rope.”

“If someone is questioning if they should go into counseling that is probably the best indicator that they should,” says Dr. William King, a mental health counselor in private practice in Indianapolis, Indiana. “You should trust your instincts.”

Joyce Breasure, past president of the American Counseling Association and a professional counselor who has been in private practice for more than 20 years, recommends counseling when you:

  • Spend 5 out of 7 days feeling unhappy
  • Regularly cannot sleep at night
  • Are taking care of a parent or a child and the idea crosses your mind that you may want to hit that person
  • Place an elder in a nursing home or in alternative care
  • Have lost someone or something (including your job)
  • Have a chronic or acute medical illness
  • Can no longer prioritize what is most important in your life
  • Feel that you can no longer manage your stress

“If you’re not playing some, working some, and learning some, then you’re out of balance. There’s a potential for some problems,” Breasure says.

Robinson points out you don’t have to be “sick” to benefit from counseling. “Counseling is more than a treatment of mental illness,” she says. “Some difficult issues we face in life are part of normal development. Sometimes it’s helpful to see what you’re going through is quite normal.”

(Source: American Counseling Association)

  1. What is professional counseling?

Professional counselors work with individuals, families, groups and organizations. Counseling is a collaborative effort between the counselor and client. Professional counselors help clients identify goals and potential solutions to problems which cause emotional turmoil; seek to improve communication and coping skills; strengthen self-esteem; and promote behavior change and optimal mental health. Through counseling you examine the behaviors, thoughts and feelings that are causing difficulties in your life. You learn effective ways to deal with your problems by building upon personal strengths. A professional counselor will encourage your personal growth and development in ways that foster your interest and welfare.

(Source: American Counseling Association)

  1. Who are professional counselors?

Licensed professional counselors provide quality mental health care to millions of Americans. Professional counselors have a master’s or doctoral degree in counseling or a related field which included an internship and coursework in human behavior and development, effective counseling strategies, ethical practice, and other core knowledge areas.

Over 80,000 professional counselors are licensed or certified in 44 states and the District of Columbia. State licensure typically requires a master’s or doctoral degree, two to three years of supervised clinical experience, and the passage of an examination. In states without licensure or certification laws, professional counselors are certified by the National Board for Certified Counselors (NBCC). Participation in continuing education is often required for the renewal of a license or certification.

Professional counselors adhere to a code of ethics that protects the confidentiality of the counseling relationship; prohibits discrimination and requires understanding of and respect for diverse cultural backgrounds; and mandates that professional counselors put the needs and welfare of clients before all others in their practice.

(Source: American Counseling Association)

  1. How do I find a counselor?

There are many different ways to locate a professional counselor. Some common ways include:

  • The National Board for Certified Counselors referral service (phone NBCC at 336-547-0607 between 8:30 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, Monday through Friday to find a certified counselor in your area)
  • The yellow pages listed under counselor, marriage and family counselors, therapist or mental health
  • Referral from your physician
  • Recommendations from trusted friends
  • Crisis hotlines
  • Community mental health agencies
  • Local United Way information & referral service
  • Hospitals
  • Child protective services
  • Referral from clergy
  • Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs)

Once you have found a counselor you are interested in seeing, you should ask several important questions, such as:

  • Are you a licensed or certified counselor? What is your educational background? How long have you been practicing counseling?
  • What are your areas of specialization (such as family therapy, women’s issues, substance abuse counseling, etc.)?
  • What are your fees? Do you accept my insurance? How is billing handled? Do you offer a sliding fee scale or a payment plan if I do not have insurance for mental health services?
  • How can you help me with my problems? What type of treatment do you use? How long do you think counseling will last?

Some of these questions may be addressed during your initial phone conversation with the counselor and others may be more appropriately discussed in your first face-to-face meeting.

After you have had these questions answered by the counselor to your satisfaction, consider how comfortable you feel with the individual, since you will be working closely together during your counseling sessions. It is difficult to open up and share your problems with a stranger and you may feel awkward or anxious during your initial sessions. But it is also important that you have a “chemistry” or rapport with the counselor. Counselors have different styles, personalities, and approaches. Take time to evaluate how you feel interacting with the counselor and whether you believe that the two of you can work effectively together. If you do not feel at ease with a certain counselor, do not get discouraged. Instead, look for a different individual with whom you would feel more comfortable working with.

Together you and your counselor will set goals, work toward achieving them, and assess how well you are actually meeting them. Counseling can help you maximize your potential and make positive changes in your life. Finally, remember that counseling may be hard work at times but change and progress do happen. A professional counselor can provide the help and support to help you master the challenges of life.

(Source: American Counseling Association)

  1. What is grief?


  • is caused by a major life change
  • is a normal reaction to a death or loss in a person's life
  • can be hard, stressful and tiring, but it is not an illness
  • helps us to let go of the past and adjust to a new life without the person who died

How does grief affect people?

All people grieve differently. Some people will feel shocked and numb in the beginning. Strange and painful thoughts and feelings may follow:

  • thoughts of confusion, disbelief, and wondering if this is just a dream
  • feelings of sadness, anger, guilt, loneliness, bitterness, fear, edginess, nervousness, short tempered, and lack of confidence

All of these feelings are natural.

People who are grieving may:

  • cry a lot
  • blame others
  • have upset stomachs and headaches
  • have problems sleeping, resting, eating or doing small tasks
  • have no energy
  • feel they have the same problems as the person who has died

People who are grieving may find that:

  • grief goes on much longer than they imagined
  • there are no quick fixes or ways to grieve
  • each person has to work through his or her grief and in his or her own way. It is not always easy for others to help.
  • grief never really goes away, but lessens over time
  • grief helps the person to deal with the death. If it is not dealt with it may get deeper and show up later as a mental or physical illness

(Source: Edmonton Regional Palliative Care Program)

If you are experiencing a crisis and need immediate assistance, please visit your local emergency room or call 911.